Cravings.

Want so many things right now.
Namely, oxy.
I don't "need" anything. I just want it.

Repeating the cycle.

Why am I doing this again?
I'm reading what Jason said about Livia.
I hate working so much that I torture myself?
It hurts so much to think about him with someone else.
I'm such a child. Why am I such an idiot?
It's not fair. Why am I so insecure?
I'm not worth everything I have.

Some things are just meant for me to fix.

I wish I could be the person I want to be. But wishing doesn't do much.
I don't mean to treat him that way; I'm just not a good person.
I wish I had the drive to do it. But that's just an excuse.
I realize that I treat him like dirt sometimes.
If I had the patience I could organize all the factors, and figure out what's wrong with me.
I just don't feel well right now.
I'm taking everything out on him.
I don't really need to find out why;
I just wish I could stop. I need to stop. I'm sorry.

I feel so lonely today.

I told myself that I wouldn't tell him the bad stuff anymore,
I don't know why. Maybe it's the weather.
that he can't handle it, but I need to tell someone.
It's not like the other day anymore. I still remember those happy things,
I can't put it anywhere someone can see. I guess it's here because somehow
but all the bad things keep running through my mind today.
i still hope he will see and tell me that it's okay.
It's probably the weather.
I can't forget what he said to me; I wonder if he really meant it.

I just sit here smiling.

Even though I should be studying.

I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend. It makes me so happy to just think about all the time we've spent together.

I'm not tired of him yet. I hope he doesn't ever get tired of me.

After reading.

I'm the same as I have always been. All my issues and habits haven't changed. Even my state of mind didn't change much. I don't even know why I thought it had.

Still me.