Short status update

It's weird that whenever I think about my future that I still include Jason. I guess it just takes time. I'm starting to get used to it though. I am debating defriending him on facebook until I can stop compulsively checking if he has had any activity. I have finally reached that point where I wonder if I should start putting someone else in place of Jason so I won't be thinking about him all the time. Just as a distraction.

I was making myself really sad today, thinking about how I made too many mistakes in all my relationships. Every relationship, I wish I could go back and hit the reset button. There isn't a single one that I wouldn't go back and change a little bit... I think I'm just really bad at this and will mess up any relationship I make. Maybe Jason was the only one who could really put up with it all. Then I realized that this is a bad way to look at things, because I still want Jason to have better than that. I'm afraid I can't ever not do something socially "off", though. I'll never be good enough for anyone.
I should just die.